Working with Fear

We all know the nasty little four letter word that starts with the letter F...

um, fear that is.




This acronym points us to find our truth.  The fear is always real.  There is no value in diminishing the emotion.  The "events" however are not always so real.

All fear is not created equal.

Fear shows up in all sorts of costumes creating a response ranging from slight recoil to wide eyed paralysis. The smaller discomforts are easier to cover up with our usual strategies. We give them a side ways glance and keep moving. It's the gripping fear, the world stopped turning fear that commands our attention.  During those times when fear takes over we can easily get knocked off base left confused about what to do, perhaps emotionally overwhelmed and alone in our struggle, maybe even feeling like something is wrong with us personally.




Even though the less intense fear serves a softer blow, it can still hold us back from living a life with every color of the rainbow.




We can learn how to relate to fear.

We tend to avoid these dark places as much as possible.  It's human nature.  We all do it to one degree or another. We try to get away from discomfort and it often happens on autopilot.




Dealing with fear is a skill we develop over time rather than something we are born with.  It takes tremendous courage.  As gripping as fear can feel, the naked reality is it's a feeling, a temporary state.  There are several ways we can work with fear.  When we keep fear as a side dish at the meal of life, when we address it, we are released. We move forward. We feel lighter, free from the cage.












The basic foundation for facing fear.

Fear is like a vampire and only thrives in the darkness.  Fear looses it's influence when we see it for what it is.  Whether we feel afraid to tell our friends we don't want to gossip or afraid a burglar is climbing through the back bedroom window, the first step is the same, we call it out. We name it.  We do best and fear does worse when we acknowledge the feeling by simply saying the word fear.  Quietly or silently repeat the word fear until you connect with the experience.  This is like flipping the lights on. Our thinking brains become more engaged and we are better able to evaluate the circumstances.




Another way we keep fear honest is by noticing the physical response we have to fear. We empower ourselves when we stay open to the sensations fear brings with it. The tightness in the chest and rock in our stomach are normal. Our bodies are doing exactly what they are supposed to do.  In the full spectrum light of our awareness, we can slow down and get clear on  what our next best move will be.




A resource for making friends with fear.

Click here for a short YouTube video by Pema Chodron on fear and fearlessness.  Pema is an American Buddhist nun who has spoken and written a wheel barrel full on fear.  She encourages us to make friends with our fear.




I thank you for reading and truly hope you find it useful.  Fear is a big topic so I plan on posting more about dealing with fear again soon.