Fear is the ultimate barbed hook. Not only does it snatch away peace of mind in the moment but is has the ability to stick in the corners of our mind holding us back from taking action and keeping us in our small cozy spheres. Things stay the same and we create an illusion of safety. Unfortunately, this works in both directions...here comes the barb. We keep out as much light as we do dark. We keep ourselves safe from the ugly discomfort of angst and at the same time we keep ourselves equally "safe" from the unbridled passion and joy we might feel should we spit at fear and be true to our hearts.
Facing our fears
For those "Just Do It" types, I say "Wow". You are amazing, and rare, that is why us earthlings are fascinated with you. We try relentlessly to be like you and it doesn't work. Just do it makes an enticing ad campaign for running shoes but feeds the critical voices in our heads when we try to apply the same philosophy to overcoming fears. We get pumped up, maybe even take some steps and then fizzle, sputter, pop, done. Why can't I do it? What is wrong with me? Other people do it.
Powering through fear works in some situations, if we can do it, but heed the result not typical warning. A proven path for the rest of us is to face our fears.
If not "Just Do It", then what do I mean by face our fears?
The foundation of facing fear is to accept the emotion rather than run from it. We actually feel the fear. We can be with it rather than think about it. Breathe. Let it be. Sit with it. Know the sensations and watch what happens. As unbearable as this might sound, this is a blip on the radar screen. It means stopping for a minute or two, tuning in and grounding ourselves in the present moment, that's it. We are simply pulling back the covers to see what we have been in bed with us that is so scratchy.
It can be wildly abrasive, maybe even overwhelming, thus the reason we started avoiding the disturbance in the first place. Right? This is when we need other strategies.
Big fear needs a bigger container
When we feel squeezed by fear we can give it a bigger container. This acts to dilute the charge. It is like the difference between drinking a martini where the alcohol is almost full strength or having the same amount of vodka dispersed in a pitcher of lemonade where we wouldn't taste the alcohol at all.
Here's how...
After getting grounded, we depersonalize the experience by acknowledging that fear is not only our emotion but an emotion that all people experience. All people experience fear. This is true. Other people have the same tight scary struggle as I do. I'm not alone in this.
Next, we work to move the energy of fear, to share it. We use our intention and attention to allow the sensations of fear to expand toward the outer edge of our bodies. Begin grounded supports us in doing this. We let the energy pass across the barrier of our skin outward to the air in the room, to others in the room, or to the space in the building. We do this not to give it to others but to have the experience of release and connection with fellow humans who also have the exact same emotion.
We pause for a moment to be with the fear energy at the building level before we let it move out of the building to the city. We pause again before releasing it out into the state we are in, and then out across the country and perhaps even the world.
Thanks for reading! Love to you,
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