Change Your Life Forever

Would you like to feel better about you and at the same time break free from an enormous source of hurt in relationships?  Let go of taking things personal.

There is no denying that we are social beings driven to connect with others.  It is how we are made.  We really are better together.  Like trees in the forest we share invisible connections and break the wind for one another.  We are stronger in a group.

BUT as much as relationships can support us they can also be an abundant source of stress and challenge.  The loss of love, the turmoil of conflict, and the sting of rejection are only a few of the tangled up spots we bump into in relationships.  These types of knocks are in direct conflict with our innate need for love and belonging.

We begin from an early age figuring out how to please others and gain acceptance.
 We learn that our behavior leads to an outcome.   We earn approval with "good" behavior and we earn disapproval, or worse, with "bad" behavior.  We experience our own impact on others and mistake this to mean something about ourselves.  From our own innocent child eyes, it's personal.  We grow up, and logically, we unconsciously continue to live by the idea that other people's reactions mean something about us.

When, in fact, it is not personal.

Breaking free from this one unwritten contract has the power to change our lives forever.  

Other people are responsible for their lives, not us.  What they say.  What they do.  How they think.  Their choices.  It all comes back to what is in them.  They own it all.  Just like we are responsible for what is in us.  We are most effective when we spend our energy tending to what is in us rather than taking on what is in other people.

Talk about an energy drain.

We unintentionally create our own hurt when we mistake other people's behavior to mean something real about us.  It helps us to remember that other people are living out of their own conditioning, their own belief system, and their own emotional reactions.  This is all completely within them.  This is what they respond to automatically and it absolutely has zero, ziltch, nada to do with us. 

This notion is especially important to hold up like armor when other people tell us about ourselves. The other person isn't sharing the truth of who we are.  They are only sharing what is in them.  Even though, if what they say touches a soft spot inside of us, if we believe what they say and it hurts us?  Well then, we say thank you for another rich opportunity to heal and grow.

The wound was already festering inside us.  They didn't put it there.  They just touched it and it hurt.  This is the distinction between what is theirs and what is ours.  When we see the difference, we are free to put our energy into mending our anguish rather than blaming them.  Hey, I think we just cut the puppet strings.  We get to take their input for what it is and decide on our own where it comes from and if it means anything, or not.

Beat it like a drum.  It's not personal.